Becoming Me

Becoming Me

I just celebrated my birthday about a month ago and it got me so nostalgic. I’ve been looking back and seeing how far I’ve come - not only over the last year - but also over my whole life. It’s been such a beautiful reflection and I don't think we reflect enough when we are so busy with day to day life, running businesses, looking after ourselves, managing health conditions, helping our relationships thrive and working on our minds, bodies and souls. Today, I’m going to tell you a bit more about my journey.

Honestly? This last year has been one of the most insane, happiest, most beautiful, passionate and intense years of my life. I truly am so grateful for everything I have lived through and everything I have ever achieved - and when I look back at my childhood, I know that I’ve made it here against the odds. I know I'm on track to exactly where I am meant to be going - but it hasn’t been easy, mainly because I wasn’t born into money and privilege as everyone thinks.

I grew up in New Jersey in a very Italian family. My Mom was 23 when she got pregnant and she hid her pregnancy for the first 7 months. Once she finally told her Mom, my Grandma told her she would have to send me to a German Catholic convent to have me and then give me up for adoption. Luckily, my Grandfather stepped in and said NO WAY. So, today, I’m thankful for him for my entire existence and the mark I’m getting to leave on the world. 

I was given a lot of love in my childhood (I lived in a house with my Mom, my Grandparents, 2 Aunts, and an Uncle), and for that, I am so thankful. But? I also saw a lot of violence in the neighborhood I grew up in. I sometimes think this was the start of my chronic health issues when I was younger. Anyone who knows me knows that I struggled health challenges - including endometriosis, fibroids and adenomyosis (although today, I really hate to refer to these conditions by name because I firmly believe people start to identify with these labels). These conditions are said by many to be a mother-wound challenge that is associated with shame, guilt, and denying your femininity. My Mother held a ton of this shame, guilt, and silence during her pregnancy with me, and it’s part of the reason why I am fascinated with root cause health care and understanding how our family units can play a part in defining our health and happiness and biological trauma too. 

Learning to heal and embrace my femininity has been a big part of my journey to becoming Jena, and this is why I am sharing my back story, so you can be inspired to reconnect with your true self too and start to forgive your past and work through your emotional health issues too. There are always positives in the past that I believe we overlook. I am so grateful for all that my Mom and Aunt gave me - they’d sacrifice a lot to take me to New York every month to expose me to art, culture, and fashion. They made me believe I could be someone special -and when I’d return to New Jersey, I’d get so severely bullied for the life they were trying to build for me. Again though, I’m grateful for the bullies in NJ. They’re the reason I left that place, the reason I followed my dreams and the reason I’m successful today.

I’ve always taken my pain and forced myself to push through and rise above whatever is going on. I’m here to shatter every glass ceiling that is firmly in place for women. I want to inspire you to do the same. That’s why I will never stop talking about things that are important to me and the world. This is why I share my truth - in person and online. The rest of the world seems so scared of cancel culture today, but stepping out of your comfort zone and facing up to your truth is one of the most influential and empowering things you could ever do.

Life hasn’t been easy, though - and I’ve often relied on artists and music to get me through. Madonna has been my inspiration for as long as I can remember. She has taught me that no dream I have ever had has been too big. I remember feeling this way since the age of 3. She has played a bigger part in my life than anyone could realize. 

I will never forget in February 2006, walking into Tompkins Square Park out of a blizzard in NYC into Madonna playing Jump. I knew then, ‘If I don’t move to LA right now, I never will”. Then, just hours later, my future ex-boyfriend called me for the first time and invited me to the West Coast and to Coachella. 3 months later, I moved to LA. That was the beginning of the rest of my life. But don’t think it was all sparkles and rainbows from that moment.

LA taught me to fight like a mother f**ker. It tried to break me, but I have never given up, I have always kept fighting, and for such a long period, I was so unwell with my struggle with endo, working jobs without having Agent up and running. But that disease was one of the biggest blessings I have ever had because, without endometriosis, I wouldn’t have started Agent Nateur. For a long time, I cried and played victim, felt awful for myself, and was envious of others who didn't live in pain - but today, I can see how insanely strong I was to push through to get to where I am today. When I couldn't find a deodorant without heavy metals in it, I wanted to make my own. And the rest? The rest is history.

So, on reflection, we have to go through a lot to become who we are - but if we let life break us, it will.

This year has been powerful. My business is en route to a billion-dollar company, authentically, genuinely, and without being a sell-out. My product formulations are epic and so much more expensive and high quality than any celebrity skincare range that drops every other week. My home was featured in almost every single Architectural Digest in the world. Do you know how huge that is? I’ve never been happier. I’ve got my body in the best shape of my entire life and I really love my face and body more than I ever did when I was younger. Don’t let anyone ever tell you you are too old to do anything, we are all fucking ageless and when you take care of your mind, body and soul, what’s even better is that you know you DESERVE to look and feel that way too. For me, health is a pretty simple formula, and I truly believe that if you look around yourself, you can see who doesn’t care or love themselves enough to invest in their true health and wellbeing.

It takes an insane amount of grit, determination, and hustle to keep going - while remaining soft for our femininity, but that is one of my life goals - to be able to retain my female grace while thriving in my masculine too.

I hope this inspires you to keep going, even on the days you want to give up.

I hope this inspires you to follow your dreams and start a business from your living room.

I hope this inspires you to turn your health challenges into blessings.

I hope this inspires you to leave your hometown if you aren’t happy there.

I hope this inspires you to keep going, even when people judge you, shame you, or do not support you.

My journey is only just starting - and so is yours.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout this journey called life. One day I’ll write a book, so I can share even more. 

But for now - to every single Agent Customer - you’re the reason I do what I do. I am forever grateful.

And before we go?

A big thank you to the haters.

Your attention is part of the reason I’m f**king flourishing today. So, keep it coming.

Love Jena x